What Plans?
by mrspencil
Summary: If you want to lure a certain starship and her crew into your clutches, you really have to do your research properly.


**a/n **_this was written a long time ago, was published by ScotPress in the 1990s (and is on their online archive now) _

_I am posting it here after encouragement from StillWaters1; all comments and constructive criticism are very welcome._

_Mrs P_

_Disclaimer: I do not own anything in the Star Trek universe._

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* * *

**

**What plans?**

_

* * *

_

Far _away, on a distant space ship, a plot was hatching…_

* * *

I'm a Beautiful Alien Lady,

With a Beautiful Alien Dream.

I'd like to defeat

The Pride of the Fleet,

And capture the Enterprise team.

* * *

I escaped from my planet's destruction.

I might be the Last of my Kind.

My planet was raided ,

The Klingons invaded,

And carelessly left me behind.

* * *

I'm alone in my dull little space ship.

I'd like some revenge for my fate.

The Klingons have gone,

I'm not taking them on,

So Starfleet can witness my hate.

* * *

I `ve made all the right preparations,

I've studied the Captain and crew.

I've accessed a file

On their exploits and style,

And I've planned what I'm going to do.

* * *

I'll send an Emergency Beacon.

"Please help me! It's urgent!"I`ll say.

In case it's ignored,

I've a second on board,

"Dilithium crystals this way!"

* * *

They`re bound to discover my signal,

And hurry to render first aid.

They'll locate the source,

And alter their course,

Straight into the trap I have laid.

* * *

When that Starship appears on my view screen,

I will know that my plan is succeeding.

I hope they will beam

Down a small rescue team,

Which Captain James Kirk will be leading.

* * *

I am ready to deal with the Captain.

It took ages to get it just right.

My plan is quite cunning,

I hope to look stunning,

And gain his true love at first sight.

* * *

My hairstyle is quite overwhelming

And platinum blonde to the root.

My smile is appealing,

My outfit revealing,

I aim to look brainless, but cute.

* * *

I will wait till the party has landed,

And rush to his side in distress.

He'll forget Starfleet duty,

Amazed at my beauty,

Amazed at my state of undress.

* * *

James Kirk will be blinded by passion,

His normal defences will slip.

He'll be so enchanted,

He'll take it for granted ,

I offer no threat to his ship.

* * *

I'll pretend to hand over my weapons,

Then fire at the crewmen instead.

It's usual I'm told,

To ignore blue and gold,

And to aim at the ones wearing red.

* * *

With the Vulcan and Doctor as hostage,

And the redshirts unconscious or dead,

The helpless James Kirk

Will assist in my work

As I fire at his ship overhead.

* * *

I'll disable her warp drive and weapons,

Completely surprise Mr Scott.

They'll be caught unawares,

And be thrown from their chairs,

As the Enterprise tilts quite a lot.

* * *

I'll disable her shields and computers.

"I'm frightened! "Uhura will cry.

When I've got their attention,

I'll casually mention,

"Surrender your Starship or die!"

* * *

I'll take over the Enterprise Starship.

With Kirk as my captive first mate.

The ship will be ours,

We will head for the stars,

Exploring at warp factor eight!

_

* * *

_

_Much later…_

* * *

I'm a Beautiful Alien Lady,

In a Beautiful Alien Jail.

In case you all wondered,

I hopelessly blundered,

I never imagined I'd fail.

* * *

It all went so nicely to start with.

They swallowed my story completely.

They altered their course,

And raced to the source,

And entered my trap very neatly.

* * *

They appeared on my view screen in orbit.

I prepared for the party to land.

I was ready and waiting,

Looked quite devastating,

And rushed to the Captain as planned.

* * *

I convinced Kirk I needed protection,

Then knocked out his crewmen in red.

His friends were both captured,

He seemed quite enraptured,

My triumph went straight to my head.

* * *

It was _then _that my plot went to pieces.

My action was rash and unwise.

I t did not take long,

For my plan to go wrong,

When I looked at his deep hazel eyes.

* * *

My heart pounded wildly with passion.

Impossible thoughts filled my head.

I'd never expected ,

To be thus affected,

The Captain seduced_ me _instead.

* * *

My lifelong beliefs were discarded.

I abandoned the rules I'd lived by.

He taught me of love,

Then pointed above,

At the flickering lights in the sky.

* * *

I confessed why I `d tried to deceive him,

To capture his starship and friends.

His manner grew colder,

I cried on his shoulder,

And offered to make full amends.

* * *

I offered to stay as his mistress.

I offered great pleasure and love.

He thanked me ,but said he

Had got one already,

That silver hulled starship above

* * *

He rescued the Vulcan and Doctor;

Who tended the injured in red,

And saw to their needs

With some rattles and beads.

Then put _me _in prison instead.

* * *

So-I'm stuck in this brig on that Starship.

I'm hoping they'll offer me bail.

I'm not too downhearted,

Can't wait to get started,

On another idea which can't fail.

_

* * *

_

Much later…

* * *

I'm a Beautiful Alien Lady.

I don't need a Beautiful Dream.

I don't need to defeat

The Pride of the Fleet,

I'm part of the Enterprise team.

* * *

I offered my talents to Starfleet.

I'm really enjoying the work.

A pleasant location,

The perfect vocation,

As yeoman to Captain James Kirk!

* * *

End


End file.
